Handymen
by T-money1
Summary: Goku and Vegeta run into some difficulty as they attempt to build something themselves, while Bulma and Chi-Chi watch on. Can these two Saiyan warriors manage to do it? One thing is for sure: It will involve a lot of hilarious results. Please R&R.


Disclaimer: Here we go again! I don't own anything from "DragonBall/Z/GT." But if I did, you'd be damn sure that Goku wouldn't have died back in the Cell Games saga. And I don't own anything from "Married…with Children." I just think they are great shows. But enough of that, please don't sue. Okay? Thank you.

The inspiration for this fic came from an episode of "Married…with Children." Do you remember that show? God that was a great show! Well, the episode was about how Kelly was invited to join a club for geniuses, which is funny because Kelly is the stereotypical dumb blonde. Meanwhile, Al and Jefferson tried to assemble a work bench, with hilarious and disastrous consequences.

When I was watching that part of the episode, I immediately pictured Vegeta and Goku into those roles. So I hope that you all enjoy this. Let's get to it.

Let's not forget a new installment of **Interesting Note (just for fun)**

**Interesting Note (just for fun) –** Have you ever taken a nap in the late afternoon, and wake up after dark, and you don't know what damn day it is?

**HANDYMEN**

"Look at those two go," Chi-Chi noted to her blue-haired friend. "It's amazing at the amount of concentration they're putting into it, don't you think?"

Bulma responded, "You can say that again. I mean, look at them. The way the sweat rolls down their skin. The way their muscles flex."

The two Earth women sat down at the kitchen table, watching their respective husbands work.

Earlier that morning, Dr. Briefs asked Vegeta to go to the hardware store to pick up a Do-It-Yourself workbench for him to use in the lab. Vegeta agreed to it, but the workbench wasn't set up when he brought it home. When asked, Vegeta responded that he could do it himself.

Goku and Chi-Chi came over at that time and the other male Saiyan decided to help Vegeta. The Saiyan Prince agreed figuring that with their combined help, they could get it done in no time.

"Yeah, it's quite a sight to see," Goku's wife chimed in.

"Yes!" Vegeta exclaimed.

"Well, I'll be," Bulma said to her friend. "It looks like they finally did it."

"Yeah," Chi-Chi added. "It only took them 15 minutes, but they actually did it."

Vegeta took the saw out of the box. "Woman, we opened the box!"

"Now that didn't seem so hard to me," Goku said. "What do you think, Vegeta?"

"Not in the least. But it should be easy for warriors such as us."

The two Saiyan warriors lifted the box and tipped it over, allowing all of the contents to slip out onto the coffee table.

"And look at it this way Vegeta," Goku began. "If it took us 15 minutes to open the box, just think of how short of a time it will take us to build this."

Vegeta was proud of himself like always. "You're right. This will be too easy!"

The two started to laugh in victory.

"Uh excuse me, Fred and Barney." Bulma's comment brought a giggle out of Chi-Chi. "But before you two begin running around the room and start bashing each other in the head with hammers, how long does it take to build the workbench, according to the instructions?"

Goku picked up the instructions and looked at them. "According to this, 20 minutes."

"Ha, I say we can do this in less than 15!" Vegeta pronounced.

"Yeah, no problem!" Goku agreed with his Saiyan friend as they high-fived.

* * *

**TWO DAYS LATER**

The two Saiyans had yet to make much progress with the workbench.

Vegeta asked, "What step are we on again?"

Goku looks at the instructions. "One."

Vegeta was annoyed by Goku's simplicity. "Well, read it out to me!"

"Oh right!" Goku exclaimed as he started to read the instructions. "Let's see: Congratulations on purchasing the Ultra Handymen's Workbench 5000. Step one: Open box."

"Well that's already taken care of!" quipped Vegeta.

The two had a good laugh at that revelation and high-fived again,

Meanwhile, Bulma and Chi-Chi looked on while sipping their coffee.

Chi-Chi noted, "It's like watching two chimps work on a jigsaw puzzle."

Bulma giggled as she picked her mug up as the image popped into her head. "I think that calls for a toast."

Chi-Chi lifted her mug up in response.

"To the men in our lives," toasted Bulma.

Chi-Chi added on, "And to the brain-dead and neanderthalic things they do in order to prove their masculinity to us."

The two women clinked their mugs together.

"Can you two feline beasts shut it over?" Vegeta asked the two women. "In case you didn't notice, we're working."

"Sorry, dear," Bulma replied cheekily.

Vegeta turned his attention back to Goku. "Kakarott, pick up that piece of wood over there."

* * *

Unbeknownst to them as Goku did so, their sons watched from around the corner. Trunks held a camera, filming the whole thing along with his best friend.

"Are you sure about this, Trunks?" asked Goten, obviously bored. "I mean, nothing has happened yet."

"Don't be such a baby, Goten," the older child said to his friend. "I promise you that something really funny will happen. We just have to wait for it."

Goten perked up, as he noticed the adults. "Oh wait, I think I see your dad with a staple gun."

"And here we go!" remarked Trunks as he aimed the camera at the adult Saiyans.

* * *

At that moment, Vegeta stapled a piece of wood to Goku's forearm with a staple gun.

Goku yelled as he jumped from his seat with the wood stapled into his flesh. "Pull it out, Vegeta! Pull it out! Ow, it hurts!"

Vegeta gets up and pulls the whimpering Goku down to the couch. "Cut that out, you idiot! You are a Saiyan, remember? You need to handle the pain."

"Pull it out, Vegeta," Goku pleaded.

"We can't let that slow us down, Kakarott," Vegeta told the Earth-raised Saiyan. "We'll lose our momentum. I'll do it later. Hand me the blowtorch."

Bulma placed her hand over her mouth, in attempt to cover up her laughing. "Oh no."

"You think we should make some popcorn?" asked Chi-Chi. "Because I think things are about to get interesting."

Back at the couch, Vegeta held the blowtorch as Goku looked into it.

"Uh Vegeta? I think it's clogged. I can't see anything."

"Let me look at it," the Saiyan Prince told his simple-minded friend. "You must not be looking at it clearly, you nitwit."

Goku turned the torch around to allow Vegeta to look.

"It has to be," Goku added. "Otherwise, it would be working right now."

"Is it just me or can you actually hear the Looney Tunes theme playing?" Chi-Chi asked.

At that moment, the blowtorch lit up in Vegeta's face, covering his face in black soot and setting his hair on fire. Vegeta screamed as he ran around the living room, punching his head in attempt to put out the flames.

Goku picked up a pillow and chased after Vegeta, bashing him in the head with it.

"Stop that, you moron!" he cried out. "It's not helping! Put it out, you stupid bastard!"

"That's okay, I have another idea!" Goku tackled Vegeta to the couch and straddled his waist, placing the pillow over his friend's face. "Don't worry, Vegeta. I'm depriving the flames of oxygen. It's something Gohan told me about. It won't be long now."

Vegeta flailed his arms around, until he finally stopped. Goku removed the pillow to look at his fellow Saiyan, who was not responding.

"Uh oh, I guess the flames weren't the only things deprived of oxygen," the younger Saiyan said before he looked up at the women. "No need to worry. He's just sleeping."

After wiping his forehead, Goku looked back down at Vegeta and started pumping his chest to resuscitate him.

* * *

A few hours later, Vegeta came to as he and Goku continued their work.

Over this time, Bulma and Chi-Chi made a bag of popcorn and started taking pictures.

"Now, you just hold it like this and I will drill through," Vegeta said as he held the drill up against the wood. "Then you tell me to stop when you see the drill appear."

"You got it," Goku chirped.

The wives watched as the drill goes through the piece of wood, which resulted in Goku screaming.

Bulma took the picture and waited for it to show up on her digital camera. "This is better than reality TV! How many pictures do we have now?"

"Tons! What's your favorite so far?"

Bulma shifts around the camera hardrive, finally finding her favorite as she showed Chi-Chi. "This one. You know when they accidentally nailed themselves to each other and ran around the room idiotically."

Chi-Chi laughed. "Yeah, that was a good one. Mine was when Goku turned the sander on and it accidentally fell into Vegeta's lap."

Bulma laughed at the picture Chi-Chi showed her in the camera.

Vegeta and Goku continued working on the workbench, banged up from the whole ordeal.

"Okay, I think we've done all we can," Vegeta said as he grabbed the multi-plug adaptor. "It looks complete enough to me. Go over there and get ready to plug it in."

"Uh honey?" Bulma chimed in. "Don't you think that there are a little too many plugs in that."

Vegeta stood up and answered his wife. "For your information, I think that we have nothing more to worry about. All the bad crap is behind us now. It can't possibly get any worse."

"You sure about that, Vegeta," Chi-Chi added.

The Saiyan Prince glared at the other woman before turning his attention to Goku. "Kakarott, are you almost ready?"

"Just give the word and I'll plug it in, Vegeta" he said as he stood by the socket.

"I'm just looking out for you, Vegeta." Bulma said before she whispered to Chi-Chi, "Give me the camera."

Chi-Chi gave Bulma the camera. "Do you really think he's going to go through with this?"

"Fire it up, Kakarott!"

Goku did so, but when he plugged it in, Vegeta found himself being electrocuted as he held onto the adaptor.

"Wow, look at him go," Bulma said as she tried to get him in focus, before she got a good shot and took it.

"How stupid do you think Goku is to try and save Vegeta?" Chi-Chi asked.

"I'll get you out of this, buddy!" Goku went to pull the plug, only to find himself being electrocuted as well.

* * *

**ONE WEEK LATER**

Vegeta and Goku came out of the ordeal extremely banged up. Nothing too major though, as it was just a couple of bandages and such. In the end, the two decided to step down and have a professional build it.

"Well, that certainly sucked!" Vegeta groaned as he and Goku watched television with their wives at Capsule Corp. "All that trouble, just to have some idiot Earthling to come in and put it together in less than 20 minutes."

"Don't feel so bad, Vegeta," Goku said cheerfully as he placed his arm around his fellow Saiyan. "It was kind of interesting…and funny at the same time."

"Oh come on Vegeta, it's alright to laugh at it," Bulma said to her husband.

"Screw all of you," Vegeta narrowed his eyes as he removed Goku's arm from around his shoulder. "I'm so humiliated. It can't get any worse than this."

"Let's try to find something good to take your minds off of it," Chi-Chi said as she changed the channel to America's Funniest Home Videos.

But it was at that moment when they announced the grand prize winner.

"And the winner of the $10,000 grand prize is…HANDYMAN BLUNDERS!" the host announced.

Goku, Chi-Chi, Bulma, and Vegeta became curious as the video clip where Vegeta's head got set on fire by the blowtorch was played. All four adults were shocked by what they saw. But while Goku and Vegeta remained shocked as the clip played out, Chi-Chi and Bulma laughed their asses off.

The host continued, "And to collect the prize…Son Goten and Trunks Briefs."

The camera shifted to show the two boys sitting in the audience with Bulma's parents as they smiled and waved at the camera.

All Vegeta and Goku could do then was look at their sons, before they each took a deep breath and…

"I think it just got worse, Chi-Chi," Bulma said as she and her friend covered their ears as to what would happen next.

* * *

The combined scream was powerful enough to cause all of Satan City to notice as residents stopped in their tracks and birds scattered wherever they were.

**THE END**

LMAO. Oh my god. That's hilarious. Well, I hope you all enjoyed this. I also take this time to apologize for the OOC factor, if there was any. Anyway, I just watched that episode of "Married…with Children" recently and I just could totally picture Vegeta and Goku in the Al Bundy and Jefferson D'arcy roles. Again, I hope you enjoyed this. And don't forget to send in your reviews as they are greatly appreciated.

So until next time, this is T-Money saying "If you want some, come get some. And if you don't like me, bite me."


End file.
